Watch your words.

Watch you thoughts for they become words. 

Watch your words for they become actions. 

Watch your actions for they become habits. 

Watch your habits for they become character. 

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Too weak to walk alone.

Thank you for being there when I had cancer and never leaving me alone.

Thank you for carrying me when I was too weak to walk.

Thank you for loving me when I was hard to love.

Thank you for forgiving me when I didn’t deserve your forgiveness.

Thank you for your faithfulness, humility, and strength.

Thank you for believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself.

Thank you for eternity, hope, the cross, and your undying love.

Brokenness

Brokenness- to be out of working order, not function, horse broken, a broken spirit, submissive

Some might think to be broken might mean to be sad or to go through a great loss. True brokenness is to be broken as a horse is broken and submits to his master. We must first admit we are broken as in ‘not working order’ or ‘not functioning’ before God can make changes in our heart so we can feel better. We have to be broken for God to fix us. We have to admit we don’t have it all together.

This doesn’t come without work or pain. Most people want instant gratification, a quick fix with little work involved. Anything worth having involves work. If we want the blessings and peace God has for us we must submit to him and ask for brokenness and a revival in our soul. We must be willing to submit before our master.

A prayer for brokenness, “Lord, show me what is in my heart I need to change. Help me understand these things so I can experience what you have for me and experience a revival in my life. What selfish, prideful, and dark places exist in my heart? Bring these things to surface and help me to overcome all of these. I pray all these things in Jesus name, Amen.”

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart, these, O God, you will not despise. Psalm 51:17

When one prayer isnt answered its because God has a greater plan.

I know God can take away cancer but sometimes He doesn’t. We have to understand there is a purpose for everything in our lives that happens. Good or bad, God is there. He carries us through the times we are too weak to walk this walk. I prayed for God to take away my cancer. You know those people who go to the dr. and are told they have cancer and return for another appointment and the cancer is gone. Yeah, I wanted that to be me! I prayed and asked God to please take it away. He is a God of miracles. He didn’t take mine away.

Was it because I lacked faith? Did I use up all my good prayers on other things that didn’t matter as much? Did God leave me? All these questions went through my head. No was the answer to all these. I had faith or I wouldn’t be seeking Him for help. God tells us to pray for everything. He didn’t leave me. I experienced Him throughout the illness and I still do. Some things happen because God has a greater purpose for us. I feel strongly I endured this so many will find salvation through Jesus Christ by my testimony. I have so many to share. When one prayer isnt answered it’s because God has a greater plan for us in the future. We don’t know what His plan is because we live in time. God is eternal.

When I started to recover I prayed and asked God to use me. I told Him I know the plans He has for me are great. I was still weak but strong-willed and wanted God to show me what I endured wasnt for vein. Within ten minutes of that prayer I received a phone call and my pastor wanted me to share my testimony in front of the church. This was a church of over 3,000 people. I couldn’t speak well because I had three-fourths of my tongue removed from cancer. I was so excited God answered my prayer so fast. That is a huge faith builder when God does this. All I had to do was make myself available and He used me.

My pastor contacted me the day after I gave my testimony. He said there was a man who visited our church that day. He didn’t go to church or believe in God. He wore leather, had long hair, had tattoos all over, and was a big tough guy. I’m not trying to stereotype because I know everybody needs jesus and there are plenty of people who go to church with tattoos. The man went to lunch with my pastor after church and told my pastor if I could go in front of the church and share my story fearlessly he wanted to know our God. He also told my pastor he was happy to see the love the church had for me.

Throughout the time I was sick God gave me so much. He was there when I needed Him the most. In this time He was sending people to me who needed to know Him. Because I had strong faith during this time I was and still am a living testimony of His love. I believe if one person came to know Christ through my illness it wasnt for vein. God used this time to grow my faith, bring others to know Him and make good changes in may people’s lives.

A Testimony During My Cancer Experience

I have decided to blog about my personal experience with cancer. Since it is the one thing that has turned my life upside down. Five years ago I was touched by cancer and it rocked my world. I was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma of the head and neck. The drs. didn’t give me a good prognosis and told me it would be a miracle if I survived. My immediate response was, “You don’t know my Jesus and I don’t have an expiration date stamped on the bottom of my foot.” And so I chose to believe I would survive. I did and I am here to spread hope to all other people who endure cancer and other life challenges.

I am an artist and a visual person. Pictures make a story more real. I am sharing the following pictures not for you sympathy but so you can see how real cancer is and how far I have come becasue of my faith in God. These pictures are my during and after cancer pictures.

IMG_3498 IMG_0480

I would like to share about a particular story that was a serious turning point in my battle with cancer. I had chemo and a fifteen hour surgery to remove three fourths of my tongue and a muscle graft from my leg to my throat. (Then, radiation and more chemo to follow up the chemo and surgery.) I was in a lot of pain and couldn’t speak. Cancer is a lonely disease anyway but my inability to speak made me feel lost inside myself. My ex-husband (husband at the time) lacked compassion for me when I needed it most. So as he was impatient with my lack of speech I felt scared and began to wonder if I would ever speak again. I had a two hour trip to Nashville for a follow up after my surgery. I spent that two hour trip in tears and praying for God to give me a special message. I wanted him to answer me thorough a Dr or a person and tell me everything would be okay. I wanted to know I would speak again. The drs. told me that was a possibility, that I wouldn’t speak again. This was heavy on my heart. And so I asked God for a special message or for him to speak to me in a way I knew it was from him.

I made it to Vanderbilt in Nashville. The two hour trip felt like twelve. I cried and prayed the whole two hours there. After finding the ortolaryngology clinic I sat in the waiting room and prayed and cried some more. A woman across the room kept staring at me. I was used to this at this point. People stare when they see a cancer patient. Maybe the lack of hair, the scarf over my head or the NG tube hanging out my nose (used to feed me after my surgery.) I didn’t mind it at this point. She got up and slowly walked across the room to me. I had a notebook and pen in my lap. She asked to see it and began to write. This was unusual because most people just spoke to me but she wrote in my notebook. She said she was one of my Dr’s first patients and she told me I would be okay. She told me she felt compelled by God to tell me I would speak again one day. She was one of Dr. Burkeys first patients fifteen years ago. She reassured me of everything I asked God to reveal to me on the way there. She also confirmed she felt God tell her to get up, walk across the room, and deliver this message to me. God is great all the time. He revealed things like this to me throughout my illness. I will share more of these things in ‘Me and my journey.’

No matter how strong you are there are times in your life when you wont be strong enough to carry yourself through that moment. In those moments I leaned on God and found I made it. I couldn’t have done it on my own. Trust Him and lean into Him when you feel helpless. He will endure for you.

To worship another is to do them an injustice. There is only one God. I love this.

Source of Inspiration

one god

No not bow before the unworthy.
There is only One deserving of
your devotion; all others have
feet of clay. Do not put them
on pedestals for surely they
will fall. You do them an injustice
when you give them undeserved
homage for they can never live up
to your expectations…such a heavy
burden you place upon them.

“Thou shalt have no other gods
before me.”
The Creator is the Source of all.

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Spiritual Gifts

etsy and kids jan 022

Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them; if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness. Romans 12:6-8

A desire is created by Him in your heart to manifest spiritual gifts to grow his kingdom. Walk in the joy of the Lord. Exercise your spiritual gifts. You are made for a purpose and to feel fulfilled let God use you for the gifts which you were made. Serve with a joyous heart.

“for all have s…

“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a fight through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith.” Romans 3:23-25

I have been thinking a lot lately about the whole situation with Lance Armstrong. He is a non-believer yes, but in regard to Romans 3:23-25 we are all sinners. He is a sinner and you are a sinner and I am a sinner. We all sin. No one sin is greater than another for it is all sin. Yes, he sinner but the bible tells us to let the first without sin cast the first stone. It is so important for us to understand the only way we are forgiven our sins is through the free gift of grace by faith.  We are responsible for our sin and will answer for our sins one day before the Lord. We aren’t supposed to judge. Instead we should pray for those who do not know our Heavenly Father.